


phineas and ferb fix everything

by Captain_Toad



Category: Phineas and Ferb, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crossover, F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Toad/pseuds/Captain_Toad
Summary: exactly as the title says. self indulgent shenanigans.
Relationships: Alphys & Undyne (Undertale), Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Candace Flynn & Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher & Phineas Flynn, Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus, Papyrus & Sans (Undertale), Papyrus & Undyne (Undertale), Phineas Flynn & Isabella Garcia-Shapiro, Phineas Flynn/Isabella Garcia-Shapiro
Comments: 257
Kudos: 174





	1. of flowers and ghost detectors

“Hey Phineas!”

Isabella’s voice carried across the yard as the fence door creaked open.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Ferb and I were thinking of going mountaineering today!” Phineas responded cheerily, opening a map. “Specifically, this mountain!” Isabella blinked in surprise as she looked at where Phineas was pointing on the map.

“Mount Ebott?” She asked, her brow furrowing in concern. “Isn’t it a little dangerous to climb a mountain where seven children have disappeared on?”

“Yes,” Phineas responded with a grin as he rolled up the map. “Yes it is.”

The pair trudged up the trail as the sun wafted through the branches above.

“I don’t see what the big deal is so far,” Phineas commented idly. “This seems like a normal mountain to me.”

“Sometimes danger is concealed by the veil of innocence and normality until it is too late,” Ferb said, crouching down to help a slug across the path. “But yeah, this is getting boring.”

“I’m starting to think we should find something else to do- hey, look at that!” Phineas suddenly rushed ahead, his eyes cast upon a pit, nay, a dark cavern, it’s maw opened wide. The gaping hole was surrounded by rocks and roots and vines, one might trip and fall into the eternal abyss.

“Now THAT’S more like it!” Phineas shouted in excitement. “Ferb? Rope me.” Ferb reached into his pack and drew out a comically large length of rope.

Together, the two tied one end around the trunk of a tree, and the other end into the gaping hole in the earth…

… and descended Underground.

“These flowers are huge!” Phineas exclaimed as his feet touched the ground. Ferb slided off shortly after him. “The petals seem thick enough to break someone’s fall. Hey, Ferb? You know what these are?” Ferb blinked and shrugged. “Well we better remember to take a sample on the way back.”

Phineas turned to look down the shadowed hallway ahead of them. “Say, it’s probably going to get dark. We should probably take out our flashlights- no, Ferb, a glowstick isn’t going to be enough, put that away.”

Ferb put the depressingly uncracked glowstick back in his bag in disappointment. The mentioned bag then began to beep hysterically.

“Is that the ghost detector?” Phineas asked curiously. Ferb pulled the mentioned machine out of the bag and, true to word, the detector was beeping wildly. “HA! And you said there wouldn’t be any ghosts.” Ferb rolled his eyes and turned the dial that said “GHOST VISIBILITY”.

As the dial turned, a red outline of a short haired child grew stronger and stronger. 

“Wh… what?” The ghost whispered, eyes wild with worry as they flickered around the room, until they fell upon the two brothers, narrowed in a glare.

“Hi! I’m Phineas and this is Ferb!” Phineas greeted cheerily. The glare continued. “Silence. That’s no problem, you and Ferb’ll get along.”

“I do not want to talk to a human,” The ghost said icily, then turned away.

“... Yeouch,” Phineas said with a worried look at Ferb, who shrugged. “Oh, whoops. Looks like visibility takes up too much power. You mind just being a disembodied voice for now?”

“I do not care in the slightest,” The ghost hissed, their back hunched. Phineas blinked in concern as Ferb turned off the visibility dial and instead turned up the vocal dial.

“Well, might as well explore!” Phineas said, cheering up, then looked at the empty space where the ghost had been. “You can come with, if you want.” The pair turned on their flashlights and walked forward into the darkened halls.

It wasn’t long before they turned a corner, and there, illuminated by a ray of sun, was another golden flower.

With a face.

“That’s new,” Ferb commented.

“Howdy!” The flower exclaimed cheerfully. “I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower!”

“You can talk?!” Phineas’s eyes widened in fascination. 

“‘Course I can, silly!” Flowey winked with a grin. “Say, you’re new to the Underground arentcha? Howzabout I show you two the ropes?”

“Sounds great!”

“Perfect! Here we go!”

The room darkened to pitch black. Flowey and the boys were now colourless, only being white outlines. The only colours were the two floating hearts hovering in front of Phineas and Ferb, one purple and one cyan respectively.

“Woah,” Phineas whispered in awe.

“Woah indeed! Those hearts are your SOULs,” Flowey explained. “The very culmination of your being! Your SOUL starts off weak, but can grow strong with lots of LV.”

“Level?” Phineas asked. “Like in a video game?”

“No, it stands for LOVE, silly!” Flowey giggled. “You want some LOVE, dontcha?”

“Uh,” Phineas looked at Ferb, who blinked and shrugged. “Sure!”

“Down here, LOVE is shared through little white…” Flowey looked to the side at the pellets materializing as if trying to remember the right words. “Friendliness pellets! I can only share a few, so you better catch ‘em all!”

The pellets dispersed towards the duo, who reached out to grab them and…

A sharp streak of pain shot through them as their fingers touched the pellets. They doubled over, grimacing.

“Ow! Hey, that hurt!” Phineas gasped in indignation. Flowey’s face had now twisted into a cruel grin.

“You IDIOTS!” He hissed. “Did you really think I would pass up an opportunity like this?” Vines creeped up from the ground and wrapped around the boys’ waists, holding them firmly in place. Another row of pellets encircled them.

“DIE.”

The pellets slowly closed in around them as Flowey’s menacing cackles filled their ears. But just when they thought they were done for, instead of death, the pain melted away. Flowey’s cruel expression turned into that of confusion before a ball of fire blasted him away.

As the vines released them, a kind feminine voice called out in front of them.

“What a miserable creature torturing a pair of innocent youths!” An almost goat-like woman stepped into their vision, dressed in robes of purple and white as the unnatural pitch blackness faded away. “Do not be afraid, my children. I am Toriel, Caretaker of the Ruins.”

“First a talking flower, now a talking goat! Looks like mountaineering was a good idea after all!” Phineas laughed, brushing himself off.

“You are only partially correct, my dear,” Toriel chuckled. “Come with me, I will guide you through the catacombs.” She turned towards the doorway behind her, and walked towards it.

Phineas and Ferb shared a grin, and followed her.


	2. of dummies and puzzles

Stepping forth into the next room, the shadowed grey walls were replaced with surprisingly vibrant magenta.

“This way!” Toriel said as she walked up the stone steps and into the next room. The brothers prepared to follow, but an interesting sight caught their eyes.

A four point star, brightly glowing yellow, hovered in front of them.

“Woah, Ferb, what’s that?” Phineas crouched down to look at it closer.

“In my experience, touching strange, glowy objects is usually a bad idea,” Ferb advised. Phineas grinned, and Ferb let out a sigh. “Which is exactly why we’re going to to touch it.”

The boys reach out and touch the star and…

“The shadow of the ruins looms before you, filling you with determination,” The ghost’s voice said. “File saved.”

“Oh, you’re back!” Phineas exclaimed brightly. “Glad you could join us. Say, what does “File saved” mean? Does that mean we are in a video game? That’s so cool!”

“I never left,” The ghost said coldly. “My SOUL is now attached to your device. I physically cannot leave you two now.”

“Oh… sorry,” Phineas said awkwardly.

“It is… fine. In any case, at least I can stop you two from dying down here,” The ghost sighed. “I have knowledge about this place that you do not. I will do my best to help you, even if you are humans.”

“That’s great! Right, Ferb?” Ferb gave a thumbs up in agreement.

“Well hurry on, Toriel is waiting for you,” The ghost said impatiently. “Oh, and don’t tell her about me.”

“Well why not?”

“My reasons are my own. Do you want my help or not?’

“Fair enough.”

The pair walked up the stairs and into the next room.

“The Ruins are riddled with puzzles. Ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys,” Toriel explained, gesturing to the pressure plate puzzle on the ground. “Allow me to-”

“Wait, we want to solve the puzzle!” Phineas said, grabbing Ferb’s hand. Toriel blinked in surprise.

“Of course! Go ahead,” She answered warmly. Phineas looked around the room for a clue. There, on the wall, was a sign. He walked over to it and read it aloud.

“Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones. Both walk not the middle road,” He quoted, then his face brightened. “Oh, I get it! Ferb, do you get it?” Ferb blinked and gave a thumbs up. “Okay, you go on that side, and I’ll go on this side. On three, we step on the pressure plates.” Ferb obliged and went to the other side of the buttons.

“One, two, three!”

Click!

“One, two, three!” 

Click!

The door swung open.

“We did it! High five, Ferb!” Phineas exclaimed, raising his hand. Ferb walked over and slapped it with his own.

“Wonderful work, my children!” Toriel congratulated. “I am sure you will be able to solve the puzzle in the next room.”

True to word, the next puzzle was… stupidly easy. The correct levers were marked with an extensive amount of arrows. So that was boring.

The next room had no puzzle in it at all. Instead, a dummy stood blankly expressions in the middle of the room.

“While you are in the Underground, you will come across monsters who may attack you,” Toriel explains. “When this happens, stall for time, and I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to this dummy.”

Phineas and Ferb shared an awkward glance, and walked over to the dummy. Once again, the room went dark.

“Um… hi! How… How are you doing?” Phineas said. The dummy did not answer.

“It doesn’t seem much for conversation,” The ghost commented. “You won! You earned 0 EXP and 0 gold.”

The room faded to normal colours, and Toriel clapped in approval.

“Ah! That was good. You did very good,” She said proudly. “Let us move on.” The brothers shared a look. Ferb blinked and shrugged, and they moved on.

“There is another puzzle in this room,” Toriel told them. “I wonder if you can solve it?” Excited for another puzzle, the boys rushed ahead to look for clues. But before they could reach the end of the room, a… frog? Yeah, a frog- bumped into them, and the room turned black.

“Froggit attacks you!” The ghost exclaims. “They like being complimented, by the way.”

“Oh! Thanks, for the tip!” Phineas says gratefully. “Ferb? Take it away.” Ferb cleared his throat, and pulled out an old Victorian book of poetry.

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of being and ideal grace.  
I love thee to the level of every day’s  
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death.”

“...Froggit didn’t understand what you said, and neither did I, but it was flattered anyways!” The ghost said, amused. Toriel walked onto scene and scowled at the Froggit, who slunk away under her disapproving gaze. The battle ended and the room faded to colour.

Ferb put away his poetry book and walked up to the sign in the hallway along with Phineas.

“The western room is the eastern room’s blueprint,” Phineas read, then snapped his fingers. “I got it! We just have to walk that room’s path on the spikes!”

“You are certainly a clever pair of children,” Toriel complimented proudly. “But just in case, take my hands and I will lead you across.” The brothers took her hands, and they walked across the puzzle, the tiles of spikes retracting every step of the way.

“You two have proved yourselves to be quite independent,” Toriel said as they entered the next room. “Therefore I have decided to leave you alone for some time as I attend to some business up ahead. Please remain here while I do this.”

“What, we can’t explore?” Phineas asked incredulously.

“It is too dangerous for you to go without adult supervision,” Toriel told them. “Just in case, do you have a CELLPHONE?”

“Yeah, why?” Phineas handed over his phone. Toriel took it and started tapping on the screen, with some difficulty due to her large hands.

“There we are. You now have my phone number,” She said, handing it back to Phineas. “Call me if you need anything. Be good, alright?” She patted each of them on the head before leaving.

It was silent for a few moments before the quiet was broken.

“You’re not going to listen to her, are you?” The ghost asked with an amused tone.

“Nope!” Phineas answered with a grin, taking his brother’s hand. “C’mon, Ferb!”

They ran out the room, eager to explore.


	3. of loading and candies

“Hey look, Ferb!” Phineas pointed. “It’s one of those star thingies again!” He crouched down to look at in the pile of the scarlet leaves.

“It is a SAVE point,” The ghost said matter of factly. “You would do well to keep your eye out for them. They could save your life.”

“Well what do you mean by that?”

“Touching these will SAVE a moment in time to go back to. If you make a mistake, or even die, you can simply go back to the moment you touched it,” The ghost explained, then sighed. “Kind of like a video game.”

“Woah, that’s so cool!” Phineas exclaimed as he and Ferb touched the star.

“Crinkling through the leaves fills you with determination. File saved,” The ghost said.

“We should totally try this out,” Phineas told his brother. “Let’s walk a few steps that way and see if we can go back like the ghost said!”

“Since there are two of you, you may have to do it at the same time,” The ghost mused. “Since you have equal control of the timeline. Picture the moment you touched the star, and go there.”

“Oh that makes sense,” Phineas said. “C’mon Ferb!” The two walked a few steps away from where they once stood.

“On three. Ready Ferb?” Ferb blinked and held a thumbs up. “One, two, three!” There was a moment of darkness, and…

“File loaded,” The ghost said. “Well done, you two.”

“We did it!” Phineas exclaimed. Ferb held his hand up for a high five, and Phineas slapped it in true brotherly fashion.

“Moving on…” The ghost said in an audible eye roll. “The way forward is down that way.” But Ferb had already wandered in the opposite direction.

“Good idea Ferb, always exhaust all areas of exploration!” Phineas said, following his brother. In the small room they had entered was a bowl of candy.

“It says ‘take one’,” The ghost commented. The boys took one each.

Ferb took another.

“You took more candy. How disgusting.”

Ferb took another.

“You took another piece. You felt like the scum of the earth.”

Ferb took another. The bowl wobbled and fell to the ground.

“You took too much too fast. Now look at what you’ve done,” The ghost berated dramatically.

“Feeerb!” Phineas laughed.

“In this hellish world, one must grasp at any fleeting resemblance of joy, no matter the cost,” Ferb deadpanned, and left the room.

“Have you no shame?” The ghost gasped in mock offense.

The duo trudged forward, and to their delight, there were many puzzles up ahead, and they had a grand time solving them with minimal help from the ghost to spare their enemies.

Speaking of ghosts…

“Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z...” 

“This ghost keeps saying “Z” out loud and pretending to sleep,” The ghost said. “Move it with force?”

“Heyyy there,” Phineas said awkwardly, moving to nudge them out of the way. “Do you mind moving over? We need to get through.”

“Ohhhhhhh noooooo….” The other ghost said, tearing up. The room went black and white in the all too familiar battle sequence they’d grown accustomed to. 

“Napstablook, 10 ATK 10 DEF,” The ghost narrated. “Doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor.”

“Oh, I’m real funny,” Napstablook sighed, their tears flying around the room, Phineas and Ferb danced around wildly trying to avoid them.

“Any ideas, Ferb?” Phineas asked, flinching as a Tear Made Of Pain hit his face.

“They’re crying. Maybe cheer them up?” Their ghost suggested.

“Oh! Uhhh, why do ghosts like elevators?” Phineas said. Napstablook blinked curiously. “Because they lift their spirits!” Napstablook smiled shyly, their tears slowing.

“Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? There was lots of de brie,” Ferb said. Napstablook laughed softly.

“You try, other ghost!” Phineas grinned. Their ghost sighed.

“Because of my teacher, my days of being bad at math are numbered,” They said, with an amused tone to their voice. Napstablook stopped crying and laughed again.

“Can I show you something…..?” They asked shyly. Phineas nodded in encouragement, and Ferb gave a thumbs up. Napstablook started crying again, but this time their tears floated upwards and formed a top hat which rested upon their head. “Do you…. Like it….?”

“We love it!” Gushed Phineas kindly. “It looks great on you!”

“Oh……………” Napstablook blushed happily, and the FIGHT ended. “I usually come to the Ruins because no one’s around… but today I met some really nice people….”

“It was nice to meet you, Napstablook!” Phineas said with a grin.

“It was….. Nice to meet you too…..” Napstablook said with a small smile. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll get out of your way…..” With that, they faded away, leaving the brothers’ path unblocked.

“You see, Ferb? That’s TWO ghosts,” Phineas said matter of factly. “Which means I’m twice as right as before.”

“Technically, they weren’t an actual ghost, but a ghost monster,” Ferb interjected.

“My point stands! Let us be off!” Phineas said dramatically, then paused. “Say, speaking of ghosts, I don’t really want to call you ‘the ghost’ all the time. Do you have a name?” 

There was a moment of silence, then…

“Chara,” They said. “Call me Chara. But do not say it around other people, or else.” Phineas saluted and Ferb gave a thumbs up.

“It’s nice to meet you, Chara,” Phineas said with a grin. “Now that’s settled, come on, Ferb!” They continued further into the darkened corridors.


	4. of spider donuts and pies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the ruins arc is nearing its end! i kinda skipped through some stuff in the ruins because i didn't want to spend too much time just watching the boys solve puzzles.

“Not sure you want to eat those,” Chara said as Phineas pulled out a Spider Donut. “They are made out of ACTUAL spiders.” Phineas cringed and put it back in his bag.

“At least we supported a local business?” He said awkwardly as they entered the next room. Walking out of a small house at the end of the room was Toriel, evidently about to call them. She blinked in shock as she noticed the boys and rushed towards them.

“Oh there you are, my children,” She said warmly. “Thank goodness you are all right. I told you not to leave the room, did I not?” She narrowed her eyes in amusement.

“We really wanted to explore,” Phineas laughed sheepishly. Toriel chuckled.

“Well you are here now,” She said with a sparkle in her eye. “Come on in! I have a surprise for you.” The brothers followed her into the house and a heavenly scent wafted into their nostrils.

“What is that wonderful smell?” Phineas wondered in amazement.

“That is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie,” Toriel explained with a smile. “I made it to celebrate your arrival.”

“Thank you, Miss Toriel!” Phineas said with a grin. “It smells delicious!”

“I have another surprise for you two. This way!” Toriel led them to the hallway, and stopped at a door. “Your very own room. I hope you like it!” She pat both of their heads for a moment, then perked up in alarm.

“Oh dear. Do you smell smoke?” She asked nervously, then raced out the hallway and presumably to the kitchen.

“Well?” Chara said after a pause. “Are you going to go in, or not?”

“I mean, this is nice and all,” Phineas said as he opened the door and walked in. “But it really seems like she expects us to just… stay here.”

“Well of course she does, silly!” A familiar high pitched voice piped up behind them. “It’s not like you can leave, or anything, hee hee!” The two boys whipped around to face that familiar golden flower.

“What are YOU doing here?” Phineas asked cautiously with narrowed eyes. “If you try anything, we’ll- no, Ferb, not that, we’ll call for Toriel.” Ferb lowered his sword shooting gun, but continued glaring at Flowey.

“Oh, don’t worry, I wouldn’t harm a hair on your triangle head. Wouldn’t be much point in it, anyways…” Flowey narrowed his eyes in irritation at the last part. “But if you call for Toriel, I won’t be able to give you the information she refuses to tell you!” Phineas paused.

“What information?”

“There’s a reason she’s trying to make you stay,” Flowey told them with a menacing grin. “And it’s because you CAN’T leave. None of us can. Did you ever even stop to wonder why none of us have left the mountain? It’s because we can’t.”

“Wh…” Phineas stammered, suddenly at a loss for words. “Well why not? Couldn’t you just leave through one of those holes like the one we fell through?”

“Not that simple, dummy,” Flowey chuckled. “We were sealed here. With magic. You know the best part? We were sealed BY humans, centuries ago. And monsters outside the Ruins? Well, let’s just say they haven’t exactly gotten over that grudge.”

“Wow, I mean, that’s awful...” Phineas said, rubbing the back of her head. “No wonder she’s being so… accommodating.”

“Yep! Leave, and you’ll get killed. Either way, you never see your families again,” Flowey confirmed cheerily, then looked to the side thoughtfully. “Unless… You seem like clever kids. And you’ve got some powerful SOULs. I think if anyone can get us out of here, it’s you!”

“Yeah… Yeah! You’re right!” Phineas said, cheering up. “Ferb, I know what we’re going to do today!”

“That’s the spirit!” Flowey said with a grin. “If you need supplies, I hear the lab of the Royal Scientist is located in Hotland.”

“Then that’s where we’re headed!” Phineas exclaimed.

“Good luck! We’re all counting on you,” With that, Flowey popped back into the ground.

“Did we just forget he tried to kill us?” Ferb asked after a pause.

“Maybe so, but we still have to save monsters,” Phineas said empathetically. “Imagine going that long without seeing the sun… They have no summer here, Ferb!” 

“Children!” Toriel sang as she entered the room with two plates. “Your pie is ready!”

“Thank you, Miss Toriel!” Phineas said as he took the plate. Ferb put his in the Thermobox, to save for later.

“You are welcome, my dears,” Toriel said kindly. “I will be in the living room if you need me.” Phineas and Ferb shared and uncomfortable look.

“This place is so nice, and so is she, but…” Phineas looked down sadly. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Chara asked gruffly. “Get on with it. No use delaying the inevitable.”

“Well-”

“Please. Just go. Get it over with already.” 

Phineas flinched slightly, but obliged.

The two walked into the next living room, and up to Toriel, who was reading in a chair by the fire.

“Um, Miss Toriel?”

“Yes, dear?” Toriel looked up from her book and smiled.

“We were thinking, and… do you know where we can leave?” Phineas asked. Toriel’s eyes widened in panic for a moment.

“Leave?” She said nervously. “Why would you need to leave? This is your home now.”

“It’s not, though. We need to go back to our family,” Phineas replied, rubbing the back of his neck. “On the Surface.”

“Er…” Toriel looked to the side uncomfortably, then brightened up. “Would you like to hear a snail fact?”

“I mean, sure, but we really need to-”

“Did you know what snails flip their digestive systems as they grow?” Toriel read from her book. “Fascinating, isn’t it?”

“That’s actually pretty cool!” Phineas said, trying to peek a closer look at the book, before being nudged by Ferb. “Oh, right. Toriel, do you know how to leave the Ruins?” Toriel gazed at them sadly and sighed, closing her book.

“I must attend to something,” She said as she stood up. “Please stay here.” And with that, she quickly walked out the room and down a staircase.

“...Let’s go Ferb,” Phineas sighed, and the two walked after her, Chara staying strangely silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought i'd upload this on the day the new movie came out. which was amazing, btw. watch it if you can.


	5. of fireballs and water guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what do you mean i just updated the day before yesterday hahaha

Phineas and Ferb descended down into the darkened hallways, the warm yellow lighting of the house fading away. Toriel stood there, almost hesitant to move forward. Phineas opened his mouth to say something but was cut off.

“You wish to return “home”, do you not?” Toriel said, her voice dangerously serious. “Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins. I am going to destroy it. No one will ever be able to leave again.”

“What?!” Phineas exclaimed in alarm. “But we-”

“Be a good pair of children and go upstairs,” She told them sternly. “This is for your own good.” She kept walking forward, and the brothers, although daunted, followed her.

“Miss Toriel, please-”

“Every human who has fallen down here has died. I have seen it time and time again. They come, they leave, they die. If you leave here, they… Asgore... will kill you,” Toriel sighed grimly. “Do you understand? I am only trying to protect you.”

“We appreciate that, but you don’t need to protect us!” Phineas protested earnestly, taking Ferb’s hand. “As long as Ferb and I stick together, we can handle anything!” Toriel began walking again.

“Go back upstairs,” She said firmly as she turned the corner. “This is your final warning.” The boys pressed on and followed her to a room with a large door, presumably the exit.

“Just let us pass, Miss,” Ferb said quietly.

“Fine. If you really want to leave so badly, then prove it,” Toriel whipped around to face them, her voice bitter. “Prove to me that you are strong enough to survive.” Their hearts dropped as the room went dark and flames began to circle them. Chara stayed silent.

“Miss Toriel, please stop!” Phineas pleaded as he jumped out the way of some flames.

“Ironically, talking does not seem to be the solution here,” Ferb commented. Balls of fire hissed past their ears, the heat stinging their skin. Toriel would not let up.

“Ferb?” Phineas asked, cringing as a flame hit his shoulder. “Do we have a gadget that could take care of all this fire? Like a thermal controller, or a fireproof suit, or-- oh that works too!” Phineas took the fully loaded water gun that Ferb handed to him, and the duo started shooting.

The flames sizzled out as jets of water hit their targets. Puffs of steam replaced the smoke. Puddles in place of burnt stains.

“What are you doing?” Toriel narrowed her eyes. “Fight back!” 

“We’re NOT going to fight you,” Phineas declared. 

“Fight me or run away!” Toriel hissed, summoning more jets of flame, which were quickly put out by a stream of water.

“Good thing we packed the infinite water guns, otherwise we would-” Phineas’s water gun stuttered, and a tiny squirt of water dribbled down and dripped onto the floor. “Oh. I guess we didn’t pack the infinite water guns after all.” Ferb’s gun ran out as well shortly after. The brothers stood their ground, ready to start dodging again, but the flames seemed to dodge them instead.

“I know you want to go home, but…” Toriel pleaded. “But please, go upstairs now. I promise I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but we could have a good life here.” The flames had stopped completely. 

“We’re sorry, but we have to leave if we’re going to save everyone,” Phineas explained empathetically. “And we really need to go home. We can’t leave behind our friends.”

“Why are you making this so difficult for me?” She hugged her middle, voice filled with despair. “Please, just go upstairs.” Phineas shook his head, and Ferb put his hand on his brother’s shoulder in agreement. To their surprise, she started to laugh hollowly.

“Ha ha, pathetic, is it not? I could not save even a single child,” Toriel chuckled sadly. She sucked in a breath, and straightened herself. “No. I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. My expectations, my loneliness, my fear… for you, my children, I will put them aside.” The boys breathed a sigh of relief as the darkness of the room faded into the familiar magenta.

“You alright, Ferb?” Phineas asked his brother in concern as he brushed down the soot from his shirt. Ferb gave a thumbs up. Toriel smiled slightly.

“If you truly wish to leave the Ruins, I will not stop you,” She conceded. “But once you do, please do not come back. I hope you understand.”

“Gosh, this is all so quick,” Phineas rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe we could call sometimes, tell you how we’re doing?”

“No, please do not call,” Toriel shook her head sadly. “Forgive this cowardly old woman, but if this if something... happens to you, I would like this to be the last time I hear your voices, your faces fresh and our formal goodbyes said.” She kneeled down, and wrapped the two of them in a hug. The boys squeezed back.

“We’ll be okay, Miss Toriel,” Phineas promised, burying his face in her soft shoulder. 

“You are clever young boys,” Toriel told them gently, tears gathering in her eyes. “Take care of each other, will you?”

“We will,” Ferb said, closing his eyes.

Toriel took a deep breath, and let go of them, standing to her feet. 

“Farewell, my children,” She said with a warm smile, and walked past them into the hall.

“Bye,” Phineas whispered after her. After a pause, they looked back at the huge door in front of them. Together, they pushed it open, and…

Another hallway.

Great.

The brothers sighed and began walking forward.

“Um, Chara?” Phineas asked after a bit. “Are you alright? You’ve been, uh… awfully quiet for a while.” Chara did not respond.

“...And I was thinking that maybe…” Phineas continued awkwardly. “Did you know her? Before you were a ghost?”

“Not now, Phineas.” Chara grumbled, and fell silent again.

_“But mooooom, you promised I could have a sleepover with Stacy!” Candace’s voice cried out in frustration. “This was going to be my first time sleeping over at her place! You never let me have sleepovers!”_

_“I know, honey, but your grandparents are down with the flu, and there are no sitters available while we’re away,” Linda explained, pinching her forehead._

“But-”

_“No “buts”, Candace!” Linda said firmly. “I’m sorry, but you have to take care of Phineas and Ferb instead.” Candace narrowed her eyes in an infuriated glare._

_“I can’t believe this!” She shouted furiously. “Why do I have to take care of my stupid little brothers that I never asked for anyways?!”_

_“That is no way to talk about your brothers!” Linda scolded. “Go to your room!”_

_“Fine!” Candace stomped up the stairs and the sound of a door slamming echoed through the house. Linda sighed in exasperation and walked to the kitchen._

_After a little while, the door to the young ginger girl’s room creaked open._

_“Um, Candace?” Phineas asked, his wide eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay?”_

_“Not now, Phineas,” Candace grumbled, hugging her knees. Phineas winced, and closed the door sadly._

“Okay,” Phineas said, forcing a smile. “It’s alright, you take as much time as you need. Just tell me if you need anything!” Chara stayed silent, but a bit of the tension lifted off the air. Just then, the long hallway finally reached its end. In the middle of the room just up ahead, was a familiar floral face.

“The boy geniuses arrive! I’m impressed with you two, you haven’t killed anyone yet, not even that pathetic old hag!” Flowey greeted with a grin. Ferb pulled out his gun-shooting sword and glared.

“Hey, don’t call her that!” Phineas scolded with narrowed eyes.

“Whatever,” Flowey scoffed, rolling his eyes. “She was right about one thing though. You guys have to learn to fight. What if you meet a relentless killer? You’ll die, over and over again. Even you kids can’t solve everything perfectly.”

“It’s like you said,” Phineas smiled, taking Ferb’s arm in his. “If anyone can do it, we can!”

“Ohoho, getting cocky, are we?” Flowey tilted his head, eyes filled with wild curiosity. “Don’t worry then, I won’t interfere. Regicide isn’t my plan anymore, this is so much more interesting!” He let out a cruel cackle and disappeared into the ground.

“That guy is creepy,” Ferb said, the two staring at the spot where the flower had disappeared.

“Agreed,” Phineas said, then shook himself off. “Let’s go, then?” Together, they pushed open the final door, a chilly gust of air invading the area which had previously been at a comfortable room temperature. And together they stepped out of the safety of the Ruins, their true adventure beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't had any trouble with this so far, but just a reminder to please please use they/them when referring to my chara!!


	6. surface interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> edit: as of writing this, 69 kudos, 69 comments, 569 hits.   
> nice.

Isabella sighed as she leaned against the tree in the backyard. Out the corner of her eye, the familiar teal furred semi-aquatic mammal padded up towards her and laid down. She smiled and started petting him.

“Hey, Perry,” She said. Perry churred in response. “Sorry, Phineas and Ferb aren’t here. They’re off mountaineering.” The platypus blinked and leaned into her hand.

“I know, I could have asked to go with them, but I already have my mountaineering badge,” Isabella rambled. “And yeah, the view from the top of the mountain would have been so romantic, and Ferb would be nice enough to let us have a moment, but I really don’t see the point anymore.”

“He has to have noticed, right?” Isabella asked earnestly. Perry churred. “I’ve been so painfully obvious, short of straight up telling him! There’s no way he hasn’t figured it out, he can’t be that oblivious. And he’s really nice, he probably just doesn’t want to let me down.”

“So I guess I should just move on, be happy that we’re really great friends. And I am happy, but how do I just… move on?” Isabella let out a heavy sigh. “This feels like I should start singing, but I don’t think this is the right medium.” She then realized her hand wasn’t resting upon fur anymore. 

“...Hey, where’s Perry?”

Perry snuck behind the tree while Isabella was distracted with her own rambling. Fedora on, he slid down the tube and arrived at his lair.

“Good morning, Agent P!” Major Monogram’s face flickered into view on the big screen. “For reasons unknown to us, Doofenschmirtz has bought a cat, a loaf of bread, and some butter, along with building supplies.” Perry raised an eyebrow. Monogram looked to the side awkwardly.

“Yes, in retrospect, that doesn’t seem like such a big deal,” He admitted. “But we know he’s up to something! Recently he had been rerouting massive amounts of electricity to his apartment, before suddenly stopping. As usual, find out what he’s doing, and put a stop to it!” Perry saluted and grabbed his jetpack, ready to face whatever Doofenschmirtz threw at him.

Perry kicked down the door with a bang, his eyes spotting the familiar evil scientist in the middle of the room.

“Oh, come on! I thought I gave you the key to the door so you’d stop smashing it!” Doofenschmirtz pinched his forehead in frustration. Perry patted himself down and found the key. Oh. Right. Whoops. Smiling sheepishly, he handed over some money to pay to get the door fixed.

“There we go,” Doofenschmirtz said, pocketing the money. “You know, Perry the Platypus, you are way too dramatic sometimes!” Perry rolled his eyes.

“Oh, don’t give me that look!” Heinz snapped. “I’m an EVIL SCIENTIST, being dramatic is my job! Anyways…” He pressed a button and two arms shot out from the walls, trapping the platypus agent between two loaves of bread.

“Ha HA! Looks like SOMEONE’S an idiot sandwich!” He cackled. “Don’t even TRY getting out, Perry the Platypus. You are sealed in with a secret ingredient that only I know!” Perry stared judgmentally. 

“...It’s glue. Super glue mixed with… with leftover butter,” Doofenschmirtz rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I have no idea why I bought that much butter. I had to clear out my fridge just to fit it all so it wouldn’t go bad! What was I thinking?”

“Anyways! Back on topic!” He declared. “You see, Perry the Platypus, as you know, most… well, all of my attempts to take over the Tri-State Area have failed. Miserably. Which is why! I came up with THIS!” He dramatically pulled a white sheet off of a new machine.

“The Pocket-Universinator!” He announced, dramatic music swelling in the background. “With this, I will create a NEW Tri-State Area, completely devoid of people. And when that happens, I will teleport everyone except the governors inside! I will cross over to this alternate universe, and then I will be the ruler of the Tri-State Area!”

“...I am having serious deja-vu right now…” He said, a confused expression on his face. “Have I done something like this before?” Perry shook his head.

“...Huh. Weird,” Doofenschmirtz tapped his chin in thought for a moment, then shook himself off. “Nevermind, then. Basically this thing takes up a lot of power to charge up. That’s what’s been causing the power surges the past few days. I realized that even all the electricity in Danville wouldn’t be enough, so I came up with a new invention, something that would give me limitless power!” He unveiled another machine dramatically. Inside there was something spinning around very fast, generation electricity.

“The Cat-and-Toast-Generatorinator!” He declared triumphantly. Perry tilted his head in confusion. “Let me explain. A couple days ago, I was eating breakfast. Butter and toast. But then, much to my despair, I dropped it! And it landed butter face down. I found this curious, so I dropped it again. Butter face down once more! I had no idea what to do with this observation until I remembered: cats always land on their feet! So what would happen if I strapped buttered toast to the back of a cat? This is what happened, Perry the Platypus. And unlimited power generator!...inator!” Perry eyed the poor cat in concern.

“Oh, the cat?” Heinz asked, pointing at the generator. “Don’t worry about him, I shot him with my anti-dizzynessinator and I take him out to feed him once in a while. He’s fine!”

“To continue, it’s still going to be… a while before the inator has enough energy to power up, so technically I’m still not done,” He explained, checking his watch. “It’s still morning, and it’ll take at least until sundown to power up. So you can take the rest of the day off, Perry the Platypus! You can come back to thwart me when the machine is actually done.” He pressed a button and the two arms from the walls came back to free Perry from the bread, with some difficulty. Perry ended up with butter and glue and pieces of bread stuck to him. He glared at Heinz.

“Ah, sorry, hold on a second, Perry the Platypus, let me just…” He got out another remote and pressed a button. The arms turned into hoses and he sprayed off the debris. Now clean, Perry shook himself off. “There we go. See you later, Perry the Platypus!” Perry gave a little wave, and walked out the empty door frame.


	7. of snow and skeletons

Stepping through the door, the boys were immediately met with a wave of freezing air. A soft crunch sounded as their sneakers plopped into a layer of snow. The two shuddered.

“I… suppose I should have warned you about Snowdin Forest,” Chara spoke up sheepishly.

“Y-you think?” Phineas asked sarcastically through chattering teeth. “We’re in s-summer clothes, we’re g-going to fr-freeze! G-got anything that’ll k-keep us warm, Ferb?” Ferb thought for a moment, then dug into a pocket in Phineas’s bag and pulled out a few flame-shaped stickers.

“Th-thermal stickers!” Phineas exclaimed with a relieved smile. He took one and stuck it on his arm, immediately feeling much better. “Good thinking packing these, I don’t know how much longer I could have standed that!”

“Where did you… get all of these?” Chara asked curiously. “Ghost translator? Thermal stickers? Infinite water guns?”

“Actually, those ones weren’t infinite-”

“Not my point,” Chara snapped. 

“Well, we made them,” Phineas answered, a hint of pride in his voice. The two began walking forward through the woods. “Thermal stickers were Ferb’s idea. We still have some left over from when we made them last winter.” Chara paused and made a grunt of acknowledgment instead of replying.

“We make a lot of inventions,” Phineas rambled on, showing no signs of stopping. “This summer, especially. It’s been our most productive summer yet! We haven’t had as much time since school started recently, but we’re not going to let school stop us from having fun, isn’t that right Ferb? We’ve got a lot of plans to make school as awesome as possible, starting with re-engineering the school bus to have flight capabilities. We might also replace the tires with ones made of a really bouncy material so that we can bounce to school! Of course, we have a lot of other non-school bus related ideas, but that’s just what we’re starting with. There’s also- wait what was that?” 

Phineas was jerked out of his rambling and they all froze at the sound of a branch snapping in two behind them. Turning their heads very slowly, they found their eyes gazing upon a huge branch, broken in two pieces, resting in the snow behind them.

“I think we should start walking faster,” Ferb commented.

“Good idea!” Phineas agreed, and the two started walking at a fast pace, trying to ignore the footsteps coming from behind them.

Arriving at a gate, about to climb through, a low voice sounded. Against all their better judgement, they froze.

“Humans. Don’t you know how to greet a new pal?” The voice said. “Turn around, and shake my hand.” Phineas and Ferb slowly turned, eyes shut in fright, and they each took one of the figure’s hands.

A fart noise filled the air. The brothers opened their eyes to see a smiling skeleton wearing a blue hoodie.

“The old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. Works every time,” He chuckled, putting his hands back in his pockets. “Anyways, you’re humans, right?”

“That’s us!” Phineas said with a grin, his previous fear completely gone.

“Hilarious. I’m Sans, Sans the skeleton,” Sans winked. “I’m supposed to be on watch for humans right now but eh. I don’t really feel like capturing anybody.”

“Well that’s a relief,” Phineas commented.

“My brother, Papyrus, on the other hand,” The skeleton continued. “He’s a human-hunting FANATIC. Actually, I think that’s him over there.” The boys turned to look through the gate, and lo and behold, a tall figure was walking towards them in the distance.

“He’s not going to try to kill us, is he?” Phineas, a tad bit nervous. 

“Nah, don’t worry. Go through the gate, the bars are too wide to stop anybody,” Sans said. Upon finding that the skeleton was right, the brothers walked through the gate, Sans close behind. “Quick, hide! Not behind that lamp, it’s too inconveniently shaped.” Ferb dragged his brother behind a sentry station that smelled of condiments and the two waited in silence.

“SAAAAANS!” A new voice shouted in a tone that reminded the brothers of Candace. “What are you doing?!”

“Dunno, what are you doing?” Sans said cheekily.

“Do not sass me, brother!” The second skeleton, presumably Papyrus snapped. “I can’t believe you, you’re not even at your sentry station! You’re so lazy, all you do is sit around and boondoggle!”

“Oh I’ve gotten a ton of work done today,” Sans grinned. “A skele-TON.” A drum riff played from seemingly nowhere. Phineas held back a snort.

“Ugh, that was AWFUL,” Papyrus huffed, a smile tugging at the edge of his mouth.

“You’re smiling, though,” Sans said proudly.

“I am and I hate it!” Papyrus hissed, then sighed. “Why does someone as great as me have to do so much just to get some recognition? I will be the one. I must be the one! Yes, I will capture a human! People will finally ask to be my friend! Undyne will be so proud of me!”

“Wow, sounds like you’re really working yourself,” Sans beamed in anticipation for the punchline. “Down to the bone?” Another drum riff played. Ferb slapped his hand onto Phineas’s mouth to keep him from giggling.

“Gah!” Papyrus pinched his forehead. “I will attend to my puzzles! As for your work? Put a little more… BACKBONE into it!” He laughed at his own joke and pranced away. Unfortunately, no drum riff played for the taller skeleton. Nonetheless, Sans smiled at his brother’s joke.

“Alright, you can come out now,” He told the two. Phineas and Ferb scrambled out of their hiding place. “You’d better get going. He might come back, and if he does… you’ll have to listen to more of my hilarious jokes.”

“Alright, thanks! See you around then!” Phineas said, walking towards the next area.

“Hey, can I ask you a favor?” Sans said before they could leave. “My brother’s been kind of down lately. Seeing a human, let alone two, would make his day. Don’t worry, he’s not dangerous. Even if he tries to be. So play along, will you?”

“Um…” Phineas looked at his brother, then back at Sans. “Sure!”

“Great. See ya,” Sans turned around and walked in the opposite direction. Phineas and Ferb shared a look, then continued walking. They arrived, much to their relief, at another SAVE point.

“The banter between the two skeleton brothers fills you with determination,” Chara narrated. “File saved.” Phineas fiddled with his hands for a moment.

“Are you... mad at us?” He asked, a worried look in his eyes. There was a pause as Chara struggled to figure out what to say.

“I… I don’t know,” They admitted finally. “It is not your fault that you had to leave. And for a pair of humans, you… are kind and resourceful. But I am upset. It is not fair to you, but I am upset. This whole situation is my fault anyhow.”

“How is any of this your fault?” Phineas said incredulously.

“Not important. Just trust that it is,” Chara told them bitterly, then sighed. “You should not be bothering with me. I’m a disgusting human who ruins everything I touch.”

“That’s not true!” Phineas protested. “And we’re NOT leaving you behind! You’re our friend now. I promise when we get out of here, Ferb and I will build you the best body ever so we can finally give you a hug. We’ll even give it taste functions so mom can bake you a pie!”

“It doesn’t matter to us what you’ve done,” Ferb agreed. “All that matters is who you are now. And we quite like who that is.”

“...Thank you,” Chara said quietly, the shattered pieces of their SOUL aching. Every part of them screamed that they did not deserve this. That this machine that kept them conscious should be smashed and forgotten about. But there was no use arguing with these two brightly shining young boys.

Something in their wide, cheerful eyes and empathetic words reminded them of…

“Let us be off, then?” Chara said gruffly.


	8. of dogs and blue stop signs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy late anniversary everybody! i did an animatic to celebrate, maybe go check that out? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43Wb8VxcahU

“So, as I was saying about Undyne…” Papyrus’s voice carried across the stretch of snow between the two sets of brothers. The tall skeleton paused, and glanced over in the two humans’ direction.

“Hi!” Phineas greeted with a wave.

“Sans, are those…” Papyrus seemed to vibrate with excitement. “HUMANS?!?!”

“Nah, pretty sure that’s a rock,” Sans answered with amusement. Papyrus looked down, and lo and behold, a pair of rocks were placed a meter ahead of them. He gave a deadpan look at his brother. 

“Oh,” He said in mock disappointment. Phineas snickered.

“But hey, what’s that in FRONT of those rocks?” Sans asked, his permanent grin widening. Papyrus’s excitement came back in full force. 

“OH MY GOD!” He shouted, eyes bulging. “Those are humans, right?”

“Yep.”

“OH MY GOD!!” The tall skeleton started jumping up and down, waving his arms around in excitement. “It's going to- Undyne will- I’m gonna be so… popular, popular, POPULAR!” He brushed himself and straightened with a determined look in his eyes.

“Humans! I, the Great Papyrus, will capture you!” He declared. “Once you pass this area, there will be puzzles! Traps! Japes! Refreshments, provided by me! Feel free to continue; if you dare! Nyeh heh heh HEH!!” He turned and dashed out of sight.

“Sounds like fun, huh?” Sans commented with a wink. “No worries, kiddos, I’ll keep an eye socket out for you.” He turned and walked after his brother.

“I wonder what refreshments he’s prepared,” Phineas said after a pause.

“THAT’S what you are focusing on in that sentence?” Chara scoffed.

“Well yeah, Ferb’s hungry,” Phineas defended. Ferb patted his belly for emphasis. “Besides, we like solving puzzles! And Sans did say he’s not dangerous, so why worry?”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned,” Chara stated cryptically. “It’s that you should never trust a skeleton. Trust me, the whole lot of them are liars.”

“That’s not a very fair thing to say,” Phineas frowned.

“Judge me all you want, but it’s true,” Chara stated matter of factly. “Now let us move on, shall we?” And thus they did.

Several ice themed enemy fights brought them to a sign beside a sentry station. 

“Absolutely NO MOVING!!!” Phineas read aloud. “What d’you suppose that means?” Ferb gave a deadpan look.

“I don’t know,” He said flatly. Phineas blinked.

“Yeah, I’m stumped too,” He admitted, then perked up. “Hey look! A dog!” He dashed over leaving Ferb to share a look with the thin air where Chara was.

“Is he serious?” The ghostly presence asked incredulously.

“You have no idea,” Ferb responded, and walked after his step-brother.

“Hello, Mr. Dog!” Phineas greeted cheerily. “Do you know-”

“What was that?!” The dog jumped in surprise. “Did something move? I can only see moving things. If something did move, say, a couple of humans… I’ll make sure they never move again!” The world went black, and their cyan and purple souls popped out of their chests.

“...Ohhhh, I get it now!” Phineas exclaimed. Ferb resisted the urge to facepalm and Chara heaved a sigh.

“Don’t move an inch!” The dog growled.

“You’d do well to heed his advice,” Chara suggested idly. Despite all their urges to doge out of the way, the boys shut their eyes and let the blue spear pass through them, unharmed. Phineas widened his eyes in fascination.

“That’s so cool! How’d it do that?” He asked in excitement.

“Questions later, pets now,” Chara waved him off.

“Pets?”

“Dogs like being pet.”

“Fair enough.” Phineas and Ferb tiptoed out of the dog’s reach and pet him behind his ears and neck. The dog perked up, eyes wild in excitement.

“PET???” He exclaimed, his head whipping around to and fro. “Pet? Pat? Pot? Pit? Pat? Pet?” The area faded to normal colours as the dog creeped back to his station.

“Something pet me…” He whispered suspiciously. “Something that… wasn’t moving… I’m going to need some dog treats for this!” He slunk down, the sound frantic scrambling of opening a bag filling the air.

“Dogs are so cool,” Phineas commented with a smile as they continued walking.

“Indeed they are,” Chara agreed with and air of fondness in their voice.

“Not as cool as platypuses, but pretty cool,” Phineas continued. “I wonder how Perry’s doing…” Chara paused in surprise for a moment.

“You have a-”

“Hi Sans!” Phineas greeted the blue hoodied skeleton.

“Hey kid, how’s it hangin’?” Sans said, his grin wide as ever. “Here’s something important to remember. My brother has a very special attack. If you see a blue attack, just don’t move and it won’t hurt you. An easy way to keep it in mind is to imagine a stop sign. You see a stop sign, and you stop, right? So when you’re fighting him, think about blue stop signs.”

“Oh, we already encountered a blue attack!” Phineas piped up.

“Ah, yeah, right. Doggo, wasn’t it?” Sans asked easily.

“Well he certainly was a dog!”

“Yep, that’s him. Whoops, sorry, guess I shoulda warned you before that,” Sans shrugged nonchalantly. “Whelp, you win some, you lose some. Keep thinkin’ about blue stop signs anyways, alright? See ya around.” He then gave a little wave and walked in the opposite direction of where he should be going.

“...Like I said, never trust a skeleton,” Chara muttered.


	9. of electric mazes and crosswords

After a short detour that involved taking a piece of a snowman so it could travel the world, the brothers walked past the ice to see the skeletons not far away from them.

“Halt, humans!” Papyrus’s booming voice commanded from across the gap. “For this first puzzle will be quite… shocking!” Phineas held back a snicker.

“Is it something to do with electricity?” He guessed with a grin.

“Correct, my triangle headed companion!” Papyrus put his hands on his hips proudly. “It is an electricity maze! Make a wrong step, and this orb will administer a hearty zap!” He pulled out an orb proudly.

“How is it going to zap us from all the way over there?” Phineas asked. Chara did a mental facepalm. Papyrus blinked (somehow) and looked at the orb.

“A slight miscalculation! You will have to hold the orb!” He threw it across the maze and it landed in the snow with a soft thump. Phineas picked it up. “Thank you for reminding me, human! That could have been very bad… for me! Now that’s settled, begin the puzzle!” Phineas tapped his finger on his (lack of) chin.

“Ferb, can I get a multi tool, and-” Ferb had already handed his brother a multi tool and a small LED. “Thanks, bro!” He fiddled with the orb for a few moments and inserted the LED. “There we go!” He held out the orb in front over the first bit of maze in front of them and the LED blinked. Phineas walked across the maze until the LED didn’t blink and stepped forward. The brothers continued in this fashion until they made it across the maze.

“Amazing! You slippery snails!” Papyrus exclaimed once they finished. “I’m impressed, that was almost too easy! But the next puzzle will not be so easy (I hope). It is designed by my brother, Sans! Nyeh heh heh!” He marched away with a hearty laugh.

“That was pretty neat, with the orb,” Sans commented after a pause. “How’d you do that?”

“It was simple, really,” Phineas answered modestly, always eager to talk about their inventions. “We realized the orb had to be connected to the pressure plates in the maze, so it knew which ones were wrong to step on. I connected the LED to the part of the orb that detected which pressure plates we shouldn’t step on so it would flash when it was over them. That way we knew where not to go and we figured it out from there!” Sans blinked.

“Huh. Cool,” He said, and walked away.

“I am... impressed as well,” Chara stated begrudgingly.

“Well, what can I say?” Phineas shrugged with a grin.

“We are pretty great,” Ferb agreed as they continued forth. They would not continue far, for they were interrupted by a rabbit monster’s dejected voice.

“I don’t understand why these aren’t selling… it’s the perfect weather for something cold!” He said disappointingly. His ears perked up at the sight of the two boys. “Oh! Do you want to buy some Nice Cream? It’s the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15 G!”

“You’ve already got food,” Chara advised in a quiet voice. “Best to save your money.”

“We’ll take two!” Phineas told the rabbit with a smile. Chara sighed as Phineas handed over 30 G and gave one Nice Cream to Ferb. “Have a nice day!”

“Thank you! You as well!” The rabbit said gratefully as the two walked off. Phineas eyed the area ahead, where a snowball sat some way away from a hole with a flag.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“It is called “Ball Game”. You have to get the snowball into the hole as fast as you can,” Chara explained. “But you shouldn’t waste your time on it. The most people usually get is 4 G, and- you are going to do it anyways, aren’t you?” Phineas had already dashed forward to start kicking the snowball across the area towards the flaghole.

After an embarrassing amount of time spent trying to get the highest score, the boys continued to the next area, where the skeleton brothers were there waiting.

“Humans!” Papyrus announced, holding his hand out to signal them to halt. “Get ready for…” He paused and looked around. 

“Get ready for what?” Phineas questioned. Papyrus tapped his chin in confusion.

“I’m… not sure, actually,” He replied, giving an irritated glare at his brother. “Sans! Where is the puzzle you were supposed to give them?!”

“It’s right there,” Sans responded with an amused look at the paper on the ground between the two sets of brothers. “Trust me, there’s no way they’ll solve this one.” Phineas and Ferb shared a look and walked forward to pick up the sheet of paper.

“Oh! It’s a crossword!” Phineas said, taking out a pen. “I love these!”

“Are you serious?” Chara hissed quietly enough to be out of the skeletons’ range of hearing. “Just put it down and walk away. Do not waste your time any longer,” Phineas put the paper down in disappointment.

“Sans, that did nothing!” Papyrus berated.

“Darn,” Sans said, his smile unwavering. “I knew I should’ve picked today’s crossword instead.”

“Crossword?!” Papyrus gasped, an offended hand placed on his chest. “Of all things, you used crossword?! In my opinion… Junior Jumble is easily the hardest!”

“Junior Jumble? Bro, that’s for babybones,” Sans teased. “Besides, even the human likes crossword better. It’s two against one.”

“I mean I like both,” Phineas rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Ugh, at least the human has some semblance of good taste!” Papyrus huffed. “Until next time, humans! Japes and tricks await you, none of them being planned by my brother anymore!” At that, he dashed away.

“Thanks for saying that just to appease my brother,” Sans said after a pause. Phineas tilted his head curiously.

“But I didn’t-”

“My brother finds difficulty in strange places,” The short skeleton continued. “Yesterday he got stuck trying to “solve” the horoscope. Anyways, see ya around,” He walked after his brother, the turned a corner and disappeared.

“I do like jumbles though,” Phineas protested. Ferb gave a comforting pat on his brother's shoulder as they continued to the SAVE point up ahead.


	10. of frozen spaghetti and dog marriages

“Oh, spaghetti! I have a power source to plug the microwave into!” Phineas said, poking the frozen solid plate of noodles.

“I cannot smell it, and even I know you should not eat that,” Chara said with a disgusted tone to their voice.

“Aw, but he made it for us!” Phineas protested, leaning forward to smell it. He took a whiff, and wrinkled his nose in distaste, leaning back. “Actually, maybe you’re right.”

“I always am,” Chara responds smugly. Ferb rolls his eyes. “Oh, hush, you! When have I led you wrong?” Ferb crosses his arms. “THAT was different Ferb, and you know it! How was I to know they changed the puzzle in the years I’ve been dead?” Ferb mimicked their speech with his hand mockingly. “You are a very ungrateful person. Do you know how many times you would have died had I not been there to guide you, like and angel returned from their long slumber to protect these tiny, dumb children?”

“Alright, alright, settle down you two,” Phineas laughed. “Come on guys, SAVE and keep moving.” Thus they did. Reluctantly.

“Dog marriage up ahead,” Chara narrated as they passed by a sign. Phineas cocked his head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked curiously. 

“Exactly what it says on the tin,” The ghost answered nonchalantly. “Some dogs are getting married up ahead.”

“Huh. I wonder if we should bring gifts.”

“Don’t worry about it. Get started on that puzzle.”

Post a puzzle that involved a hidden switch that they found with a map buried under a bunch of snowballs, the trio continued past the spikes when they heard a shout.

“What’s that smell?” A pair hooded dogs carrying axes walked towards them.

“Where’s that smell?”

“If you’re a smell…”

“Show yoursmellf!”

They lumbered around the brothers, circling them like a pair of hawks, their noses twitching.

“Hmmmm… here’s that weird smell…” One growled. “It makes me want to eliminate…”

“Eliminate YOU!” The other howled.

“Oh boy,” Phineas cringed as the area went black and white, his and Ferb’s purple and cyan SOULs popping out of their chests.

The writer did not want to write out the whole miniboss sequence, and you already know how it goes, so let us skip forward to the Xs and Os puzzle.

“That was pretty simple,” Phineas commented as he pushed the button. They looked over across where the spikes had gone away.

“Oh, humans!” Papyrus exclaimed brightly. “You finished my introduction puzzle! But what about the trap I had cooked just for you?”

“Oh, uh, we left it,” Phineas said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

“You resisted the flavour of my homecooked pasta… so you could share it with me?” The tall skeleton put a touched hand to his chest. 

“Yeaahh… That’s why we left it,” Ferb responded with a deadpan look.

“How kind of you, young humans!” Papyrus grinned jovially. “Fret not, Master Chef Papyrus will cook you all the spaghetti your little hearts desire, and then we can share! Nyeh heh heh!” With his signature laugh, he backflipped to the next area.

“Please just tell him his pasta stinks,” Chara sighed. “I will not be able to stand it if I have to watch you have to gag down an entire plate out of social niceties.”

“But that would be… rude,” Phineas fiddled with the edge of his shirt.

“If he really is passionate about cooking, would it not be ruder to not give him proper criticism out of fear of hurting his feelings?” Chara argued eloquently. Phineas had no good response to that.

“They are right, you know,” Ferb told his brother.

“Alright, I’ll tell him. Just… later,” The triangle headed boy relented.

“There we go,” Chara said, satisfied. “Onto the next area, then?” The boys continued forth through the snow and the trees.

“Humans!” Papyrus proclaimed as the brothers neared him. “While I was waiting for you, I rearranged the snow in this puzzle so it would look like my face. Now it’s frozen solid and I… don’t know how to solve it.”

“That’s okay! We’ll just solve it together!” Phineas told him with a smile.

“I see you share my enthusiasm for puzzles,” Papyrus noted giddily. 

“Of course! They’re like logic tests, but fun!” 

“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN SAYING!” The skeleton exclaimed, hands flapping in excitement. Ferb covered his ears. “Ah, apologies. But it seems as if no one appreciates the value of puzzles! Undyne thinks they’re for nerds, but I was right! Even the humans agree with me!”

“Are you the one who made all these puzzles?” Phineas tilted his head to look at the puzzle ahead.

“Of course! Other than joining the Royal Guard, engineering is my passion,” Papyrus replied modestly.

“That’s so cool! We should make a puzzle together some time!” Phineas flapped his hands in excitement.

“We should! That would be wonderful!” He did a little dance with his feet in joy. “If all humans are this way, then the King might not have to- err, why don’t you get on with the puzzle?” He put his hands on his hips, pretending the falter had not occurred. Phineas and Ferb shared a look, and began the puzzle.


	11. of pink tiles and history lessons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hhh sorry this took so long

“Finally, pink tiles!” Papyrus finished his explanation while Ferb jotted down notes. “They don’t do anything. Step on them all you like.”

“Got it! Ready, Ferb?” Phineas glanced at his brother. Ferb gave a thumbs up. “We’re ready!”

“Remember, this puzzle is completely random!” Papyrus exclaimed proudly. “When I hit this switch, it will generate a puzzle that not even I have seen before! Nyeh heh heh, get ready!” He hit the switch. The area in front of them flashed with different colours, quicker and quicker, until…

It stopped. The center was completely pink tiles, lined with red at the side. Phineas and Ferb looked on disappointingly. Papyrus’s jaw dropped. Quite literally, in fact. Sans picked it up out of the snow and attached it back onto his brother’s face. The tall skeleton’s hollow eyes went through incredulousness, irritation, hysteria, then resignation. Somehow, without moving his feet, he twirled out of the area.

“Aw man, I really wanted to do that one,” Phineas huffed as he crossed the “puzzle”. “What kinda puzzle generator generates something like that anyways?” Sans gazed at the machine for a moment.

“Yeah,” He said with a slight hint of suspicion. “Weird, huh?”

“It IS weird,” Phineas said, oblivious to the skeleton’s suspicion. “Hopefully there are funner puzzles up ahead."

“Oh definitely,” Sans winked at the two. “Say, you know that spaghetti from before? That was actually pretty good for my brother. He’s had a lot of fun with those cooking lessons he’s been taking. Maybe next year he’ll even make something edible.” He chuckled. Phineas held back a snicker. Maybe they should help Papyrus with his cooking. Whomever is teaching him currently probably doesn’t know what they’re doing.

Sans’s promise was fulfilled when the two boys arrived at one of those X/O puzzles, completely covered in ice. Just stepping on it made you keep sliding until you either fell off or hit one of the pressure plates.

“Yes! We got this, Ferb!” Phineas exclaimed, high fiving his brother. Finally, a CHALLENGING puzzle.

“Papyrus really knocked it out of the park with this one,” Chara commented, impressed. They were right. This puzzle took some actual critical thinking skills, and it wasn’t dangerous. Which was surprising, considering Papyrus.

Post more Sans being suspicious (Again) and a Very Large Doggo (Chara was ecstatic), the brothers came to a bridge with several dangerous objects hanging overhead.

“HALT, humans!” Papyrus ordered dramatically, from where he and Sans stood across the bridge, pointer finger raised.

“Hi, Papyrus!” Phineas greeted with a little wave.

“Howdy, triangle boy!” Papyrus waved back. “Welcome to the Gauntlet of Deadly Terror!”

“Sure looks pretty scary,” Phineas observed, his gaze flitting from the various deadly weapons that hung precariously over the small bridge.

“I should hope so!” Papyrus crossed his arms proudly. “When I activate it, each weapon will lower and swing to and fro! Spears will stab! Canons will fire! Fire will… also fire! That dog will… actually what is he doing there, get down from there you pesky mutt!” The dog continued rotating from where it hung attached to the rope, eyes blankly staring into the middle distance. Papyrus huffed, muttering something about how nobody listens to him, then shook himself off.

“Ready yourselves!” He declared, cape flowing in the non existent wind. “Because I! Am! About! To do it!” The gauntlet remained steadily un-violent. The tall skeleton shifted uncomfortably.

“Uhhhhh, bro?” Sans asked, wide eyes gazing at the lack of movement from the bridge.

“I know, Sans!” Papyrus snapped, clearly on edge. “I’ll do it… any minute now!” Unsurprisingly, it remained still.

“Uhhh, Papyrus? Are you okay” Phineas tilted his head in concern.

“NO! I mean, YES! Well…” Papyrus fiddled with the rim of his cape. “I just realized, that, well… this isn’t much of a puzzle, is it? Provides no challenge for your minds! Too easy a win for me. The Great Papyrus’s puzzles are fair and expertly constructed for the purpose of improving one’s critical thinking skills.” He pressed a button, and the weapons retracted. A look of relief passed over the skeleton’s face. He straightened at Phineas’s concerned look.

“Don’t give me that look!” He scoffed. “This was another decisive win for the Great Papyrus!” He strode off with a forced laugh.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Ferb commented. “I’m pretty sure that would have killed us.”

“Agreed.” Chara and Phineas said in unison as they made their way across the bridge. Which, upon closer inspection, seemed to be made of stone and painted over. Odd.

“Heya,” Sans began as the two stepped onto the snow on the other side. “Seems like you’re gonna fight my brother pretty soon.”

“Fight?” Phineas asked incredulously. “We don’t wanna fight him! He’s our friend!”

“No way around it, kid,” Sans shrugged. “My bro’s been wanting to get into the guard for ages. He’s worked real hard for a real long time, and this is his big chance. Them’s the breaks. Make sure you understand blue attacks, by the way.”

Phineas and Ferb stepped into the cheery atmosphere of the town feeling slightly dejected.

“Oh, what’s with that look?” Chara huffed. “You have gotten a peaceful ending to every fight thus far, who’s to say this will be any different?”

“Well I guess you’re right,” Phineas perked up a little. “We’re friends, after all! I’m sure we can change his mind.”

“There we are,” Chara said, pleased. “Why don’t you explore a little to take your mind off of it. I’d love to see how Snowdin Town has progressed in my absence.”

“You’ve been here before?” Phineas asked incredulously.

“A while back. Perhaps check out that shop first?” 

Opening the door to the shop, the brothers blinked up at bunny, warm lighting illuminating her fur.

“Hey, kiddos? How can I help ya?” She greeted with a friendly smile.

“Uh, my brother and I are new here,” Phineas told her, peering over the counter. “Could you tell us about this town?”

“Oh, this here Snowdin Town? Course I can, little fella!” She leaned down, arms crossed and resting on the counter. “Long ago, while us monsters were settlin’ in round the Underground, some fuzzy folk decided ta settle down in these chilly parts, and we’ve been here ever since! If you’re lookin’ ta stay the night, my sister owns the inn next door. There’s a library further down, and Grillby’s if you’re lookin’ for some grub. And if you want entertainment, just watch those wacky skeletons do their thing.”

“Haha, we know them!” Phineas and Ferb shared a look.

“Sans and his brother Papyrus, yeah?” She tilted her head. The two nodded. “Yeah, an odd pair, aren’t they? Nobody really knows where they came from, to be honest. They just sorta showed up one day and… asserted themselves.” She trailed off as if trying to remember a memory that wasn’t there.

“Could you…” Chara began in a whisper. “Could you ask when Snowdin Town was founded?”

“Oh! Uh, miss?” Phineas asked. The bunny lady perked her head. “So you know how you said a long time ago monsters came to found Snowdin? Do you know how long?” She raised her hand to rest her chin on it.

“Well it was real long way back, but if I remember my schoolwork correctly,” She tapped her chin for a moment. “Almost exactly a century ago. 1907.” Chara sucked in a pained breath. “In fact, I think we’re celebrating the 100th anniversary of its founding in about a month.”

“Cool! Thanks for answering our questions, miss!” Phineas said with a grin. Ferb gave a little wave.

“No problem!” She tipped her hat with a smile. “You two take care now,” Phineas waved as well as they stepped out the shop.

“What was that all about?” Phineas asked with a hint of concern.

“Nothing! Just…” Chara trailed off uncomfortably. “100 years is a long time…” Phineas and Ferb shared a troubled look before setting off to the rest of the town.


	12. of blue attacks and theiving dogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phew, this is the longest chapter yet! took up 5 pages on google docs. writing a boss battle will do that ig lol

“This is really interesting!” Phineas said eagerly, his nose buried in a book. “It says here that monsters are vulnerable to the intentions of their opponents! So you could hit someone as hard as you could and it wouldn’t do much because you don’t actually want to hurt them. I wonder what the science behind it is. Can the magic fields of monsters detect the emotions resonating in other SOULs? Ferb what do you think?”

Ferb looked up and held up a passage in a book he was reading. Phineas squinted from where he was sitting. 

“Monsters are made of magic?” He read in awe. “That’s so cool! I wonder what element magic is made of? Or is magic its own element? Is all magic made of the same element, or are some types like fire only triggered by magic heating up the air? Could you use magic electricity to make an equivalent to SOUL power? How do you measure how powerful a SOUL is?”

“You talk too much,” Chara huffed. “Do you ever run out of breath, or does that trap of yours never shut?”

“What’s up with you?” Phineas queried with a tilt of his head, unfazed by the insult. “You’ve been pretty grumpy ever since we chatted with the bunny from the shop. Are you okay?”

“Do you ever stop asking questions?” Chara hissed. “No information will ever satisfy you. You gather more and more without asking the real question: Is this really your business? I can answer that question. It isn’t. Now leave me be.” Phineas opened his mouth, but Ferb shook his head. The ghost child was in a bad mood, and talking more wasn’t going to fix that. They’d talk when they were ready. Phineas put his book back onto the shelf reluctantly, and took another one.

“Oh, check it out, Ferb! Monster funerals!” Phineas exclaimed. “It says here that when monsters die, they turn to dust, and then that dust is spread on-”

“Do you want to go home or not?” Chara interrupted with a strained tone. “Reading books from a misspelled library is not going to get you to the barrier quicker, in fact it will achieve the opposite effect.”

“Well if we’re going to free monsters, it’s important to learn as much as we can about them,” Phineas reasoned.

“I assure you, the answer to breaking the barrier will not be found here,” Chara grumbled. “Make your way to the exit.” Phineas huffed, and the two stood and walked back out into the cold outdoors.

A large (locked) house was up ahead, accompanied by two mailboxes, one overflowing with unread junk mail, and the other…

“It’s empty?” Phineas commented, confused. The inside was dusty from lack of use. 

“Well he did say he didn’t have any friends,” Ferb shrugged.

“I didn’t think he was being serious,” Phineas rubbed the back of his neck. “How can such a cool guy have no friends?”

“His bombastic personality and extensive cheerfulness might drive people away,” Chara mused. “But then again, his bombastic personality and extensive cheerfulness might be because he doesn’t have any friends. How sad.”

“Well that’s not true anymore! We’re his friends now,” Phineas announced, hands on his hips.

“Well you should be prepared to fight your new friend,” Chara told him. “I’ll bet that the skeleton is behind that suspiciously thick fog.”

“Aw man, I forgot about that,” Phineas sighed. “I’m sure we can talk him out of it!” The two brothers entered the thick curtains of fog.

“Papyrus? Papyrus!” Phineas called out into the impenetrable white.

“Greetings, my geometrical companions,” Papyrus’s voice echoed back, his dark figure stepping into view.

“Called it,” Chara whispered.

“Allow me to tell you about some complex feelings. Feelings like… the admiration for another’s critical thinking skills and intelligence… the joy of finding someone who shares my love for puzzle making and mechanical engineering. The desire to have a cool, smart person to think you’re cool and treat you as an equal. These feelings…” He paused for a moment, trailing off. “These must be what you two are feeling!” 

“I pity you, lonely humans. I don’t EVER wonder what having lots of friends is like,” He laughed. Phineas and Ferb shared a skeptical look. “But worry not!!! You shall be lonely no longer. I, the Great Papyrus, will be your…” He trailed off again.

“We’d love to be your friends Papyrus!” Phineas offered. Ferb nodded in agreement.

“No… No, this is all wrong!” Papyrus shook his head and stepped back, fiddling with his scarf. “You are HUMANS!!! I can’t be your friend, I have to capture you!!! Then, I can fulfill my lifelong dream!!! Powerful, popular, prestigious!! That’s Papyrus!! The newest member…” With a wave of his hand, the fog parted to reveal him fully. “...OF THE ROYAL GUARD!!!”

The world went black and white once more, cyan and purple SOULs popping out of their chests. White bones popped out of the snow and circled the two boys, not touching them, but not letting them leave. 

“We’re not going to fight you Papyrus,” Phineas proclaimed.

“So you won’t fight…” Papyrus huffed. “So be it! But let’s see if you can handle my fabled blue attack!!!” A ridiculous amount of blue bones came at the two from all sides, but they knew what to do. They stood as still as possible, and the attacks passed through them harmlessly. Was that it?

Suddenly, a tug was felt on their SOULs, like a heavy weight attached to their chest. Then a burst of pain as a small bone sped towards them with a smack.

“Ow, hey!” Phineas exclaimed in indignation. “What was that?”

“You’re BLUE now!!!” Papyrus announced, a proud smirk on his face as his cape flowed in the non existent wind. Phineas and Ferb looked down at their SOULs and found that it was true. They were now a deep blue instead of their original colours. “That’s my attack! Nyeh heh heh!!!”

“You’re blue now,” Chara commented.

“Thank you, we noticed,” Ferb scoffed. But there was no time to chat, for massive bones came travelling towards them. The brothers found that while they couldn’t move out of the way, gravity loosened its hold so they could jump higher than they ever could.

The difficulty of the patterns quickly increased, with bones coming from the top and longer and longer jumps needed to make it over the ones at the bottom. With each hit, HP dropped from 16 to just 10.

And worst of all, Papyrus didn’t even seem like he was trying.

“Head of the Royal Guard! Unparalleled spaghettor!” Papyrus shouted. “Undyne will be really proud of me! The King will trim a hedge in the shape of my smile!” The attacks did not cease.

“But, Papyrus!” Phineas panted. “We’re going to break the barrier ourselves! If you could just- let us past!”

“And the barrier will be broken if I capture you!” Papyrus huffed. “Both outcomes end with the barrier being broke, but only one will result in me becoming a Royal Guard! And with you… you… GAH! Just give up already!”

“Do you-” Phineas tripped and nearly fell. “Do you really need to be in the Royal Guard? If you only want it so you can have friends, WE can be your friends!”

“I can’t disappoint Undyne!” Papyrus exclaimed. “If you don’t give up, I’ll be forced to use my SPECIAL ATTACK!!!” Special attack? This battle is hard enough, what could be harder than what he’s already thrown at them?

“Your WHAT?” Phineas cried out.

“That’s RIGHT! My SPECIAL ATTACK!!” Another row of bones sped towards the two humans. “If you don’t give up right now, I’ll have to use it!!!

“We’ll never give up!” Phineas huffed as he grabbed his brother’s hand and leaped over the array of bones.

“Fine then, you’ve left me no choice!! Behold!!” He gestured proudly next to him, where a small white dog was chewing on a bone. Papyrus’s eyes bulged out of his head. “What the heck?!?! Hey! You stupid dog! You hear me? Stop munching on that bone!” The dog scampered away.

“Hey, what are you doing!? Get back here with my special attack!!!” The tall skeleton’s arms waved wildly around his head as the dog disappeared. He let out an irritated sigh. “Oh well. I guess I’ll just use a really cool regular attack. Here’s a completely normal attack.” Papyrus crossed his arms with a bored look on his face as the most difficult pattern of bones bombarded the two boys. They came from all directions, up, down, left, right, all at once. Some even spelled “Cool Dude”, which would have been impressive had they not preceded a SEA of bones. 

Phineas and Ferb cringed and leaped into the air, with nothing else to do. To their surprise, they continued floating as long as they strained upwards, which was lucky for up ahead was the most massive bone, and the most massive attack they’d ever seen. How had this guy not been accepted into the guard? Those dogs from before were way weaker compared to THIS.

The boys floated over the last attack, and fell to the ground. A teeny bone crawled towards them, which they only needed to step over.

“Huff, puff!” Papyrus said, clearly not that tired. “It’s clear! You can’t defeat me! Therefore, I have elected to SPARE you!” Phineas and Ferb gave weak thumbs up, exhausted. The world turned back to its normal colours.

“We’re really glad you decided to…” Phineas trailed off as he saw Papyrus turned away, face buried in his hands.

“I couldn’t even stop a pair of children!” He whimpered. “Undyne is going to be so disappointed in me… I’ll never join the Royal Guard... and… my friend quantity will remain stagnant.”

Phineas and Ferb shared a sympathetic look, and walked over to the distraught skeleton and tugged on his cape.

“It’s like we’ve been saying, Papyrus!” Phineas told him with an earnest look. “We’ll be your friends!”

“You… you really want to be friends? With me?” Papyrus asked incredulously, turning around. The brothers’ hearts broke to hear the disbelief in his voice. Was it really so unbelievable to him that someone wanted to be his friends? “Wowee! Who knew that all I needed to do to make friends was to give people dangerous puzzles and then fight them! You’ve taught me a lot, humans! Anyways, I hereby give you permission to pass through!” Phineas and Ferb high fived.

“Thank you so much, Papyrus!”

“No problemo! All you have to do to reach the barrier is keep going until you reach the end of the cavern, where the CAPITAL is!” He instructed, pointing behind him. “Anything can enter it, but nothing can leave! Except beings with powerful SOULs, such as humans like you! That’s why the king wants us to capture humans. He wants to break the barrier with SOUL power. That way, monsters can return to the surface!”

“Don’t worry, Papyrus, we’ll be sure to set you guys free!” Phineas promised.

“By the way, to reach the barrier, you’ll have to pass through… the KING’s castle…” Papyrus trailed off seriously. “The KING OF ALL MONSTERS… He is… well… He’s a big fuzzy pushover! Everyone loves that guy! And since you plan to break the barrier anyways, I’m sure he’ll let you through!”

“Got it. Thanks for the directions!” Phineas said with a grin.

“You are welcome!!! I’ll be at my house, being a cool friend,” The skeleton gave two gloved thumbs ups. “Feel free to come with and hang out!” He then leaped into the air and… walked? Through the air? How did he do that…? 

“...You’re going to go to his house instead of continuing, aren’t you?” Chara sighed as they stared after the odd skeleton. 

“Absolutely! We’re friends now!” Phineas grabbed his brother’s hand. “Let’s go!


	13. of honesty and blueprints

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyyyy i'm back sorry for the wait!!

“I see you’ve arrived!” Papyrus greeted with his signature grin as Phineas and Ferb walked up to the house. Have you come to “hang out”, as it were?”

“Absolutely!” Phineas answered with a wide grin. Ferb gave a thumbs up.

“Then allow me to escort you to a very important place I like to spend a lot of time in!” The tall skeleton picked each of the boys up, one in each arm, and he marched ahead at full speed. After a few meters, he paused, turned around, and went straight back to…

“My house!” He plopped the boys back onto the ground and gestured proudly. The brothers snickered.

“Weren’t we just here?” Phineas laughed a little.

“Dramatic effect, my friend!” Papyrus scoffed, going to open the door. “Now, come in!” Phineas and Ferb shared a look, and entered the house.

“Welcome to my humble abode!” Papyrus did a little bow. “Feel free to take a look around, then we can head to my room and… do whatever it is friends do when they hang out?”

“We can start now!” Phineas suggested, whilst Ferb opened the fridge in the background. He took a whiff, gagged, then immediately closed the fridge.

“To my room it is! Follow me!” The skeleton marched up the stairs and walked into his room, the two boys in close pursuit.

“Hmm… No boys or girls allowed, it says,” Chara mused upon reading the sign. “I suppose I am the only one who can enter, then?”

“He should really change that sign,” Ferb commented. “And the contents of his fridge.”

“Ah, that’s right!” The ghost child continued. “You did say you would be honest on your opinion of his pasta, did you not?”

“But… we’re on a friend hangout!” Phineas protested. “How is it going to look if the first thing I say is “your spaghetti tastes bad”? We’d break his heart!”

“It is going to look like you’re the first person who has ever been honest to him,” Chara huffed. “Also, he does not have a heart. He is a skeleton.” Phineas fiddled with his shirt for a moment.

“Fiiine,” The triangle headed boy sighed as he walked into Papyrus’s room.

“WELCOME, FRIENDS!!!” Papyrus shouted, then quieted as Ferb covered his ears. “To my room! Let me give you the grand tour. On my right is a bed modeled after a racing car. I like to imagine, sometimes, that I am driving it on the surface! Wind in my hair! That’s just a dream, of course. The bed doesn’t get much use anywho. Sleep is for the Sans!” He let out a hearty laugh, then leaped over to a table covered in figurines.

“Here we have a set of models I got for Gyftmas last year! I use them to plot out battle scenarios. One can never be too prepared!” He announced with a grin, then furrowed his brow at one and moved it two centimeters to the left. “Behind me is a bookcase filled with wondrous works of literature I have read many times over. Advanced Puzzle Construction for Critical Minds holds number one for me, but Peekaboo with Fluffy Bunny is a close second, along with this lovely series on mechanical engineering.”

“Then of course I have my closet and computer, both filled with board games and cool outfits and Sans, sometimes,” Papyrus finished and took a bow. “Now that you’ve had the tour, shall we hang out?”

“Sure! What do you want to do?” Phineas and Ferb plopped down onto the bed.

“Hmm… I… am not sure!” He admitted, scratching his skull. “I’ve never done this before! Well, I hang out with Undyne, but those usually are at her house, and end up with too much fire for one building! I also hang out with- er… His hangouts are usually away. From people. Or where he can quickly burrow under the ground.”

“Hmm…” Phineas tapped his (lack of) chin, then snapped his fingers. “Hey! Remember how we said we should design a puzzle together?”

“Aha! Yes! Genius idea, my friend!” Papyrus exclaimed, turning to his bookcase. He grabbed an armful of large paper from the shelf, and a couple of pencils from the table. “Here we are! Supplies! I assume you have experience in blueprinting?” He set the materials down with an excited smile.

“Of course! Who doesn’t?” Phineas scoffed as he grabbed a pencil and paper. “Now, what I’ve been thinking, is most of your puzzles have been horizontal, laying flat on the ground. What would really step things up is if you went in more dimensions, like this…”

“IT’S WONDERFUL!!!” Papyrus cried out in awe as the trio gazed upon their newly constructed puzzle. “I must say, Phineas, adding that shuffle mechanic to mix things up every 8 minutes was ingenious! And Ferb, that vertically hanging tennis course was just the right thing this puzzle needed!!”

“Aw shucks,” Phineas laughed with a wave of his hand. “You were the one who decided to make it a giant rubix cube! Now THAT’S clever. I would have never come up with the shuffle mechanic without being inspired by that idea! And the laser guided flamethrowing sharks were a neat touch.”

“Undyne will get a laugh out of those!” Papyrus chuckled. “Now, I do suppose we’ll be needing a lunch break after that mental exercise! You must be tuckered out after working for all of 16 minutes. I have some fine, perfectly aged spaghetti in my fridge! After all, it wouldn’t be right to send a pair of such intelligent minds off on an empty stomach.” Phineas and Ferb shared a look, and Ferb elbowed his brother’s arm.

“Yeah, about that…” Phineas began sheepishly. “Your spaghetti… isn’t that great?” Papyrus tilted his head slightly.

“Do go on?”

“It’s just that it smells really bad and has a weird texture… I could swear there are burnt bits mixed in. Who even taught you how to cook?” The triangle headed boy blurted out. “Sorry.”

“Undyne is my teacher! She has been giving me lessons for the past few months instead of… actually… teaching me to fight,” His smile faltered for a moment at that, then he shook himself off. “But thank you for being honest with me!!! No one has ever gathered up the courage to do what you just did.” Phineas gave a blank look.

“Huh?”

“Oh I’ve known all this time people hate my cooking. I can see their faces, you know!” Papyrus laughed. “But despite their seemingly vile hatred of my spaghetti, no one thus far has told me what they really think! Frustrating, really. How am I to improve if I never receive constructive criticism? In any case, Undyne has only taught me how to make it one way, so that’s how I’ve been making it! But now that someone has finally come clean, I suppose I can check out those cookbooks I saw at the Librarby.” Phineas gaped.

“So this whole time… you knew you were making terrible food… and you just kept making it?” He asked incredulously. “I thought you wanted to be great at everything, why would you purposely not improve?”

“One cannot improve without receiving the proper steps,” Papyrus answered, hands on his hips as his cape fluttered in the wind. “Besides, I can’t say it was not… amusing to see so many people trapped by their own social niceties.”

“That is… incredibly spiteful,” Chara whispered giddily, impressed.

“And you’ve NEVER tried your own pasta?” Phineas asked in disbelief.

“Of course not!” Papyrus scoffed. “Why would I eat food I know is awful? What next, do you want me to eat at Grillby’s?” He bursted into loud laughter, and the three children chortled along with him.

“Well I suppose you three should be heading off now,” The skeleton continued with a grin, giving the, a piece of paper with a number on it. “Here is my number! You know your directions, off you go now!”

“Thanks Papyrus!” Phineas said as he and his brother gave a little wave, then did a double take. “Wait, three?” But he was already running off to who knows where.

“Introduce me to your disembodied friend sometime!” He threw over his shoulder, leaving the trio in disbelief once more.

“You all heard that, right? That wasn’t just me?” Phineas whispered, in shock.

“Does he… know? That I am here?” Chara said, voice wavering.

“I guess you aren’t exactly quiet,” Phineas told them with a shrug.

“Oh, you’re one to talk.”

The bickering continued as they headed out of Snowdin and into the dark and damp caverns of Waterfall.


	14. surface interlude II

Candace was having a fairly normal day. She would even go so far as to say it was a good day. After the stress that was two essays due in one day earlier that week, she was prepared to sit back and relax, and just for one day, not think about schoolwork. And that she did! She and Stacy had gone to the mall, which was having a weekend sale event. After that, Jeremy had picked her up and they had gone out for lemonade. And now, she was peacefully walking home, opening the backyard gate to see…

...The Fireside Girls troupe (With the addition of Baljeet and Buford) huddled around a blackboard.

“Uh, hey guys?” Candace set down her bags, curious to see what plans they had this time. She glanced around, seeing a stunning lack of triangular or rectangular heads. “Where are Phineas and Ferb?”

“Candace! You’re just in time! Sit down, I’ll recap the situation,” Isabella ordered, pointing to an empty spot on the grass.

“Uhh, the situation?” Candace asked, a pit of worry growing in her stomach. “Seriously, where are my brothers?” Isabella stepped up onto a chair placed beside the blackboard.

“Alright team, here’s the deal,” Her high pitched voice was in that tone that made you know to shut up. “2 hours and 8 minutes ago, Phineas and Ferb departed to Ebott Mountain on an exhibition. Since then, we’ve received no word from them, and something is blocking them from showing up on our Flynn-Fletcher Detector.” Candace’s eyes widened.

“WHAT? They’re MISSING?!” She exclaimed. “Why didn’t you guys call me sooner? Are they okay? Argh, those guys are gonna give me a heart attack someday!”

“Phineas said to only worry if they don’t respond for an hour,” Isabella huffed. “When we noticed how long it had been, we started looking for them on every tracker available. We got nothing, which is why I called you all here. We’re going to Ebott Mountain to look for them.”

“I still do not know why the Flynn-Fletcher Detector isn’t picking them up,” Baljeet scratched his head in confusion. “My calculations are never off, the radar should have detected them!”

“Crap, I hope they’re okay,” Candace ran her hands through her hair. “I mean, who am I kidding, they’re Phineas and Ferb. They’re fine.”

“If they’re not, we’ll beat up whatever’s hurting them,” Buford grinned, making a fist and punching his open palm a few times.

“Alright, Fireside Scouts (and Buford and Baljeet), start packing, chop chop!” Isabella clapped her hands with a stern look on her face. Candace blinked a few times.

“Wait, Fireside SCOUTS? Why did you change the name?” She asked.

“We had a new troupe member and we wanted to make the name gender neutral to make them feel more welcome,” Isabella shrugged. “Now chop chop, we gotta get a move on people!”

As the kids scattered around the yard and into the house, Perry finished recording the conversation from behind the tree.

“Well, that sure is a conundrum,” Major Monogram commented. “Agent P, I’m sure you’re very worried about your cover family, but in your report you said that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is continuing his evil schemes later today. We need you here, where we can call upon you should the situation arise.”

Perry gave a churr of protest, a sad look in his eyes.

“That’s a hard no, Agent P,” Monogram told him sternly. “Stay here and keep and eye out for Doofenshmirtz, that’s an order.” The hologram fizzled out, and Perry sighed dejectedly. He wandered out into the yard, frustrated that once again, the agency kept him from being with his family.

“Is everyone packed?” Isabella asked. Various sounds of approval came from the small pack of children, each with a bag of equipment. Her gaze landed on Perry. “Perry, do you wanna come look for the boys with us?” 

Perry hesitated. He had just been told explicitly to stay home. But… it was still 9 am. Heinz said it would take until sundown to have the machine ready. 

Perry churred and walked up to Candace. Phineas and Ferb mattered more than the agency.

“Ugh, I’m going to have to carry you aren’t I?” Candace grimaced as she picked up the teal platypus, cradling him under one arm.

“Alright, we’re off!” Isabella opened the fence door. “Come on everyone, move move move!” The team of children (and Candace) clambered out the backyard.

Meanwhile…

Doofenshmirtz sat on his couch, boredly munching on some chips as he idly flipped through various tv channels.

“Ugh, this is taking forever,” He complained. “I almost wish Perry the Platypus had destroyed the thing when he got here. At least I’d have something to do. Granted it would be cleaning up exploded bits of my hard work, but still.” The hum of a hairdryer whizzed to a stop in the background as Vanessa stepped out of the bathroom.

“Hey dad,” She said as she passed by the couch. “What are you watching?”

“Oh, hi Vannessa,” Heinz glanced up at his daughter affectionately. “And I actually.. Don’t know. Something about cartoon foods that cry a lot and they’re friends? I… zoned out about an hour ago.” Vanessa snickered.

“You need to get a hobby,” She teased, rolling her eyes. “Before you say anything, a hobby that isn’t fighting an anthropomorphic platypus from a secret agency. What do I say when people ask me what job my dad has?”

“You tell them I’m an evil scientist!” Heinz threw his hands in the air incredulously, accidentally knocking over his bowl of chips.

“Yeah?” Vanessa raised a brow with a disbelieving smile. “And when they ask what evil you’ve done, what do I say?” Her dad raised a hand to his chest in offense.

“Well, I-” He blustered for a moment.

“Dad, literally nothing you’ve ever done has ever worked,” The teen scoffed. “Not saying you have to give up science or whatever, just try to find something to do while you’re not doing science. Seeing you just sit on the couch alone watching animated food is depressing.” Heinz sighed.

“Maybe you’re right,” He slumped.

“I always am,” Vanessa winked. “Anyways, I’m going for a hike with my friends on…. Uh, Mount Ebott, I think it’s called.” Her father frowned.

“Isn’t that the mountain where 7 kids disappeared on?” He asked, tilting his head in worry.

“Dad, I’ll be fine,” She laughed, planting a kiss on his cheek. “See ya! Think about what I’ve said.”


	15. of tutus and echoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i now have 50 pages of a phineas and ferb undertale crossover fanfiction on google docs. what am i doing with my life.

“Okay NOW we’re going through Waterfall,” Phineas sighed as they exited Grillby’s.

“Well that was not very productive,” Chara commented gruffly. “‘Keep an eye out for a talking flower”, we already know to do that.”

“Well we did find out Flowey is friends with Papyrus,” Phineas scratched the back of his neck as they walked to the Waterfall entrance. “Which is weird. Papyrus is such a nice guy, why would he be friends with someone as evil as Flowey?”

“Well he did pretend to be nice at first,” Ferb mused.

“Ferb is right. Perhaps he is simply keeping up appearances around Papyrus? Though whatever for, I cannot tell.” As they entered the dark catacombs of Waterfall, they encountered a new puzzle which involved boulders being hurtled down a waterfall.

“Wait! Go back, I saw something,” Chara said as the boys reached the other side, their shoes soaking wet. The two shared a look and went back. “There, behind the water!” The brothers took a deep breath and walked through the rushing water, to find… a hidden room, with only a tutu lying on the floor.

“Oh cool, a hidden room!” Phineas looked around the enclosed quarters. “Nothing much in here though, just a dusty tutu.”

“Well if I am correct, this is a type of ARMOR,” Chara informed him. “It will give you better defense against magic attacks, and- and Ferb has already put it on.” Ferb was indeed rocking the bright pink tutu.

“Hey, that looks great on you Ferb!” Phineas exclaimed. He took out a pen from his pocket and clicked it. It transformed into an umbrella, and he handed it to his brother. “Here, so your new fashion statement doesn’t get soaked.”

“Could you… not have done that before?” Chara asked in confusion. Phineas blinked a few times.

“The past is the past! We have to march forward!” He proclaimed before leading his brother through the rushing water. The trio continued on through the shadowed caves, and were about to start a new conversation topic as they passed through a large patch of tall grass when they were interrupted by the voice of Papyrus.

“H-Hi Undyne!” He stammered out. The skeleton sounded oddly nervous. “I’m here for my daily report… Regarding the humans I called you about--” 

“Did you fight them?” A gruff voice, presumably Undyne asked. “Are you okay?”

“Well yes, of course! I fought them valiantly!” He assured, a little of his old confidence coming back.

“...And did you capture them?” Undyne continued slowly.

“W-W-Well...” Papyrus trailed off with a stammer to his voice. “No. I tried very hard, Undyne, but in the end… I failed.” He sounded so… defeated.

“Ugh, if you want something done right, you do it yourself!” Undyne hissed. “I’ll destroy the humans, then.”

“But Undyne, you don’t have to destroy them, you see--”

“I’ll take care of it, Papyrus,” She snapped, then sighed. “It’s okay, bud. I know you did your best.” Papyrus was silent for a moment.

“...I understand,” He said bleakly. “I’ll help in any way I can.” After a pause, the patter of boots exited the room, the clank of metal following soon after. There was a moment of silence to make sure the soldier was really gone, and Phineas and Ferb let out a breath of relief as they exited the protective camouflage of grass.

“Whew, that was close,” Phineas said, his wet sneakers squelching against the stone. A young monster child came running out of the grass after them.

“Yoooo, did you see her in her cool armor?” They exclaimed, eyes sparkling in excitement. “That… was AWESOME!!! I can’t wait to get her attention. C’mon, let’s go watch her beat up some bad guys!” They started running, then promptly fell flat on their face. They got up soon after and ran off, unfazed. 

“You will have to be careful,” Chara advised. “She seems to be an actual professional. Things seem like they will get much harder from now on.”

“Yeah, she sounds like she… actually wants to kill us,” Phineas scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Maybe we should call Papyrus.” Ferb dialed the number and handed the phone to Phineas.

“Papyrus?” Phineas asked into the phone.

“Oh! H-Hello Phineas!” Papyrus’s voice sounded through the phone. “Wowie, I had an awkward time in this room earlier!” Phineas gave a confused look. Wait, how did he know which room they were in? It’s not like he could see through the phone… could he? 

“Good thing you didn’t see it!” Papyrus continued nervously. “You definitely didn’t see it! I love that fact, and repeating it!” He hung up.

“How very not suspicious,” Chara said bluntly.

“I guess he’s kind of shaken after that,” Phineas mused, giving the phone back to Ferb. “We can call him later. He did say he would help if we asked.” The next room contained a new puzzle. They dialed again.

“Hello!! I did say I would help out if need be, didn’t I?” Papyrus exclaimed. “Of course I did! What are friends for, if not to help their friends who are being chased down by another, much more murdery friend?”

“Oh, uh… thanks, Papyrus!” Phineas said, slightly taken aback by how oddly specific that sentence was.

“These are bridge seeds! When four bridge seeds align in the water, they make a bridge!” He explained, then paused. “But that’s sort of limited in usefulness. Why don’t we have airplane seeds? Or phones that can turn into jetpacks? Anyways, I am quite sure you’ll be able to handle it, this is a very simple puzzle for great minds like you and I!” Click! He hung up. Hm, I wonder where we’ll be able to see jetpack phones in the future… but alas, we have no way of knowing.

As they finished the puzzle, the phone rang.

“Hello! This is Papyrus!!!” Papyrus said.

“Wait, we never gave you our number, did we?” Phineas asked. 

“Nope! Which is why I dialed every number sequentially until I got yours!” He exclaimed. “So… what are you two wearing? My friend thought she saw you wearing a pink tutu. Is that true? Is one of you wearing a pink tutu?”

“Uhh…” Phineas trailed off.

“Say no!” Chara hissed. Phineas looked conflicted for a moment.

“No, neither of us are,” Phineas lied, immediately feeling guilty.

“Not even your invisible companion? Alrighty then!” He said. “Got it!! Wink wink!!” He hung up.

“...Did he just say “wink wink” out loud?” Ferb asked.

“I shouldn’t have lied,” Phineas tugged at his shirt sheepishly.

“It is fine,” Chara sighed. “You heard him earlier, he is in cahoots with the person trying to kill you. That “friend” is Undyne! She is hunting you down as we speak!” Phineas shifted uncomfortably.

“I guess…” He said. “Let’s go. Hopefully that bought us some time.” They continued out into another hall, scattered with echo flowers.

“A long time ago, monsters would whisper their wishes into the sky,” One of them said. “If you hoped with all your heart, your wish would come true… But now all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling.” The voice sounded so… bleak. And indeed, when the boys tilted their heads up, the ceiling was covered with pinpricks of light.

“Thousands of people wishing together can’t be wrong! The king will prove that!”

“C’mon sis, make a wish!” 

“I wish my sister and I will see the real stars someday.”

Countless voices whispering earnestly, hoping, aching to be free, to touch the sunlight again, or for most, for the first time. Some voices filled with youthful, earnest hope, some bleak and defeated. All of them reaching to something they could not have…

“...We’ll, uh…” Phineas whispered, breaking out of his trance. “We’ll save them, won’t we, Ferb? We’ll let them see the real stars, yeah?” Ferb took his brother’s hand in comfort, and the three stared in silence at the glowing freckles of stone.


	16. of spears and red paint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyyyyy sorry for the delay but here's another one

The War of Humans and Monsters…

Ferb’s fingers traced the glowing words on the plaque.

“So we just… attacked for no reason?” Phineas whispered. “That’s awful. No wonder everyone’s so angry.” 

“The nature of humanity is that we fear the unknown,” Ferb observed, gazing at the horrific illustration on the wall. “Whatever we fear, we hate.” Phineas gave a sad look. How could anyone fear the unknown? If you don’t know something, you seek to understand it. 

“But we’ll make it right!” He said with a determined look. “We’ll show them that there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

The raft next to them could only hold one child at a time, strangely. But as always, the two genius brothers came up with a creative and intelligent plan to get both of them across.

“This is a terrible idea,” Chara told them bluntly, watching as Phineas climbed onto his brother’s shoulders.

“It’s a great idea! This way we can both get across at the same time!” Phineas said brightly as Ferb wobbled onto the raft.

“Aren’t you two supposed to be smart? You were just telling me about how you built treehouse robots in your backyard and this is all you could come up with?” The ghost child scoffed.

“Occam’s razor, sometimes the simplest solution is the correct one,” Ferb told them.

“Someone is chatty in this chapter.”

The raft floated across the darkened waters, and arrived to the other side with minimal interference, aside from Ferb pretending to fall at some point to scare his brother. Chara hissed something about this not being the time and that they would kill the two if the machine that kept them conscious broke because of their shenanigans. 

“See? That wasn’t so b- oomf!” Phineas tumbled off Ferb’s shoulders. “See? That wasn’t so bad!” Chara gave a mental roll of their eyes and internally admitted this was something they would have done with… with…

A spear impaled the floor in front of them before they could spiral further into that thought. Phineas gave a yelp of surprise as Undyne appeared in the shadows.

“Run!” Chara hissed, and the two wasted no time obliging. 

Spears hurled after them, a cyan glow to them not unlike the echo flowers they had encountered earlier. They hissed past their ears, just barely grazing the hair on their heads.

They burrowed into the tall brush, and crouched down, hoping for the best.

The crinkle of grass sounded as Undyne entered the brush.

“We need a distraction,” Chara breathed, quiet as humanly possible. “Turn on the visibility meter.” Phineas’s eyes widened in alarm. “Just do it.” He turned the dial and the red outline of Chara’s form brightened. Their hair covered their eyes to make sure Undyne didn’t get suspicious.

“Get out of here, kid,” Undyne’s deep voice growled from behind her helmet. Chara summoned their most offended expression as they raised their hand to their chest.

“How dare you!” They exclaimed, ramping up their scottish accent to its highest level. “Get outta ‘ere? I bloody live ‘ere!”

“You- agh, sorry,” Undyne said sheepishly. “You haven’t seen any humans around here, have you?”

“Humans? I didn’t know there was one of ‘em here, much less two!” Chara gasped, mustering as much shock as they good into their voice. “If they came through ‘ere they must’ve gone ta the other side of the brush.”

“Yeah, probably. I’d go after them but the element of suspense is RUINED,” The soldier huffed. “Sorry for trampling your grass. Say, are you new here? I don’t think I’ve seen you or your type of ghost around these parts before. I feel like there’s something familiar about you though...”

“Moved ‘ere recently from Hotland.”

“Ugh, I hate Hotland.”

“Yeah, that’s why I left. Get a move on, will you?”

“Right, see you around.”

She turned around and walked away, her metal boots thumping into the shadows. Chara breathed a sigh of relief, brushing their hair out of their face.

“That was close,” They said when Undyne was out of earshot. Phineas and Ferb peeked out of the grass.

“That was great! Thanks, Chara!” Phineas exclaimed, holding his hand up for a high five. Chara tried slapping it, forgetting they were incorporeal. Their hand passed through without any resistance. Oh well, no harm in trying. Phineas turned the dial and Chara’s red form faded away. Keeping it on for too long wasted energy.

.  
“Yoooooo that was AWESOME!” A monster child ran after them from the brush and fell onto their face. They got up again after a moment. “Did you see that? Undyne was like… right next to us! If that lame ghost hadn’t popped up, you could have met her! C’mon, let’s go watch her beat up some bad guys!” They ran off again, and fell on their face. Again. They got up and dashed sped away. Poor kid.

Moving on past a save point, was the familiar face of none other than Comic Sans MS

Sans, for short.

“Hey, kiddos, how’s it hanging?” The skeleton said with his unending grin.

“We’re a little worn out from getting spears lobbed at us,” Phineas smiled sheepishly.

“You’ve met Undyne, then? Yeah she’s just like that,” Sans shrugged as if the two boys hadn’t just almost gotten killed. “In any case, I’ve gotten into the telescope selling business. Usually it’s 50000 G for this premium one, but... I’ll make it free for your troubles.” Phineas quirked a brow in suspicion.

“But what are we supposed to look at? There’s no stars down here…”

“C’mon, you’ll see, just take a look,” Sans winked cheekily. Phineas glanced down at the telescope, frowning a bit.

“What’s that red stuff, then?”

Ferb poked it and his finger came away with red paint. His red headed brother crossed his arms, trying to stop himself from laughing.

“Heyyyy, you were trying to get paint on our eyes!” He said in mock disapproval.

“Eye, not eyes. Singular noun,” Sans winked again, his grin widening, if that was possible. “And how do you know I was trying to get paint on your finger?” Ferb narrowed his eyes and poked his paint covered finger to Sans’s hoodie, leaving a red stain.

“Yknow, usually when Papyrus berates me for getting ketchup stains on this thing, I tell him it’s red paint as a joke,” The skeleton commented, amused. “But this time it’s actually going to be red paint. So thanks.” The three of them laughed.

“Speaking of red, when were you gonna introduce me to your red floating friend?” He asked casually. There was a moment of silence.

“I would have introduced myself on my own terms, rather than you eavesdropping,” Chara spoke up after a pause.

“Hard not to check out the sound of a million spears and scottish shouting,” Sans shrugged. “Nice to meet ya by the way, I’m Sans. Sans the-”

“The skeleton, I know,” Chara huffed. “I would introduce myself, but I assume you overheard my name as well.”

“Yep, sorry kid,” Sans scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I uh, have no idea how you’re back but… take care of yourself this time around, will you?”

“...Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before you comment, yes, i do headcanon chara as scottish. i will not be taking criticism.


End file.
